You are questioned by everyone including me. There are few triumphs worth praise in your line of work, but keep your head up, little one. The path you walk is lined with doubt, judgement and fear. Insecurity is an ugly coat of speckled sequin you cannot hide and leaves you scratching and tugging at its edges in embarrassment. You’re guilt ridden and feel foolish by your selfish hopes and dreams.
This world is a huge, intimidating place that seeks to challenge you. I will always challenge you along with it. Beneath the pleasure that you seek are painful memories that strip you of willpower and serenity. A past of failures has chiseled your once unscathed gleam and robbed you of your inherent innocence. You may believe that too many moments have been sentenced to the shadows of dark clouds; too many opportunities stolen by your own hesitation and uncertainty.
But, awkwardly, you will maintain yourself. You won’t heed my fears and you’ll be strong. Those that challenge you, most notably me, intend to awaken in you a beast of magnificence. In you, lives the harmony to quell anxiety, the fortitude to surpass the obstacles of ineptitude.
Apprehension has cloaked you for too long.
You are brilliant and hold the secret to success in your tiny existence. Simmering beneath your cool surface is a pool of heat and fire with the potential to blaze a path through your pained past. Despite the hardships you face under my skeptic eye, the beauty and strength you possess will shine.
Stand up, little one. Believe in yourself. Trust in your own sustenance and sneer at the terrors that my mind conjures. You are the defining factor in all that can be blessed upon us and my quiet has no say in your capacity for excellence.
You, my confidence, will bring us greatness in time. Prove my insufferable insecurities to be falsehoods and be brave in the face of my doubt. I am your worst enemy, a nightmare that collects the most painful potential outcomes of all life decisions and replays them on a loop to challenge all that you are.
Be brave. You are only as little as I dare to make you seem. You can be the largest part of me. You are stronger than I give you credit for.
Cheers to a year of keeping track.