I got accepted into Vet school.

Over ten months ago.

I didn’t tell anyone, and deferred for a year in private.

For months prior I poured over MCAT study guides that made dictionaries look like child’s play and accumulated a insensible amount of knowledge. I worked painstakingly hard to prepare myself for the test that could determine my future, and when I finally wrote it and received my score, I was more satisfied than proud.

Scoring in the top 97 percentile was a milestone that left me more fulfilled than my actual acceptance to the doctorate program. I took that as a sign and decided to keep my acceptance letter and orientation package a personal achievement as I explored the opportunities that were being offered to me.

Do I want to commit to years of intensive schooling again? Am I ready to revisit student life? Is this a career I want to dedicate myself to? Is this really what I want?

These questions demanded months of my time and in secret I debated, weighed and strongly considered each answer. Without the influence or pressure of those around me, (including my parents and Sam), I came to the slow realization that I wasn’t going to become a vet. I love working with animals. I love the idea of helping the ones in need. But, I’m not a doctor. I’m not passionate about the medical aspect of biology and I can’t justify fulfilling a position in a program that I’m not nearly as winded about as others. There is someone out there what has wanted this every day for their whole lives…and my casual acceptance would be an insult to them.

This is not my path to walk.

I am committed to furthering my career and being the best of me, but I’m more committed to being true to myself. That trumps the potential pay raise in the end of the day. I need to follow my heart, and trust.

Cheers to a year of keeping track.